LEARN ASTROLOGY - LESSON 29

"MANAGING RELATIONSHIPS"

Emotional stability, mental peace, an enjoyable life and creative contributions are possible if one is blessed with supportive relationships which cover all relationships including those with parents, siblings, friends,as well as the intimate relationships.  The intimate relationships cover marital, romantic and co-habitation relations.

Relationships may cause anxiety and concerns on account of some weakness involving physical and emotional well-being of the persons involved in them; this would include their professional development as well as their support or warmth to the relationship.  The future and stability of a relationship both in terms of materialistic and spiritual life depends on a variety of factors.

The problems in relationships develop when the people involved or one of the persons involved become(s) more demanding, less supportive, selfish, or impatient; and then the problems result in irritation, frustration and temptations for excessive intoxication leading to people walking out of the relationship.

The various dimensions of the factors causing problems in relationships can be studied with the help of Systems' Approach to Vedic Astrology via the planetary influences in the birth chart of a person, which can then help the people involved in the relationships and ultimately society at large.

For identifying the reasons for problems we have to gauge the planetary influences which cause lust, lack of patience, irritation, selfishness, unlimited romantic friendships, health problems, failures and obstructions in profession, etc.  The planetary influences help us in identifying the problems in advance as also in the post-problem stage.  The appropriate application of astrological remedial measures helps in resolving relationship problems.

The problems are caused due to the weakness of the planets in the natal (birth) chart and the afflictions of the unfavorable planets to the weak planets.  The study of planetary influences includes the impact of the luminaries, the Sun and Moon, the planets, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus and Saturn and the nodes Rahu and Ketu.  All these are referred to as planets in astrological parlance.  Some of these nine planets become favorable planets for a particular ascending sign, and some of these planets become unfavorable planets for a particular ascending sign.  Then we have to see the amount of impact of the unfavorable planets on the planets/houses ruling stable and prosperous relationships.

The planets influence personality attributes in a significant manner.  The Sun, personified as a king in the planetary cabinet, likes to be possessive, having its own way and trying to expand, control and increase wealth.  The Moon, personified as a queen in the planetary cabinet, likes all matters pertaining to home management and administration. Mars, personified as a commander, is aggressive in approach, protective and makes one very passionate.  Mercury, personified as a thinker and analytical person, lacks confidence when weak and makes one seek support for one’s decisions in life.  This sort of interaction can increase and sometimes other people may find the person to be a disturbing element.  A strong Mercury provides confidence to the personality and others seek guidance from such a person.  Jupiter, personified as a teacher and guru, when strong and influencing blesses one with benevolence, generosity, kindness, patience, knowledge, wisdom and a person under the influence of this planet is perceived to be an adviser in worldly and spiritual affairs.  Venus, personified as an advisor for materialistic pleasures, makes one very passionate for physical pleasures and luxuries.  Saturn, personified as a servant, always looks for future security and under its influence, when weak, one can leave honesty for selfish motives.  Rahu is an impatient, overly-ambitious and materialistic planet and persons under its influence will always be trying to achieve their own materialistic goals at all costs without caring about the means adopted by them.  This overly-ambitious energy encompasses all negative attributes of the personality such as lack of patience, encroachment, selfishness, greater involvement in sensual pleasures and greed to accumulate more and more.  Ketu’s strong influence brings setbacks and takes one to spiritual pursuits.

When a particular planet or a group of planets influence(s) the ruler of the chart the person may have personality attributes as per the influencing planets.  When a particular planet or a group of planets influence(s) the planet ruling the spouse in the chart the spouse may have personality attributes as per the influencing planets.  When a particular planet or a group of planets influence(s) the planet ruling friends or elder siblings in the chart the friends or the elder siblings of that person may have personality attributes as per the influencing planets.  When a particular planet or a group of planets influence(s) the planet ruling father, mother, younger siblings, etc., in the chart the father, mother, younger siblings, etc., may have personality attributes as per the influencing planets.

Understanding the impact of planetary influences is attempted through the study of relationships of the planets through their conjunctions, aspects, planetary periods and placements in various houses in a horoscope. 

Rahu signifies lust and an overwhelming materialistic approach and its close influence indicates inclinations for seeking and enjoying pleasures without bothering for the relationships to be nursed.

Mars indicates extra energy for seeking physical pleasures while the close influence of the Sun activates for multiple relationships.  The influence of the lord of the sixth house ruling conflicts and challenges on the planetary factors signifying relationships in a chart causes strains and stresses on account of lack of harmony and patience and involves violence resulting into divorce.

Purity in relationships is governed by the planets the Sun and Jupiter when strong, as they govern the soul and spiritual development.

The various aspects of life are grouped under twelve headings, which in the astrological terminology are known as houses. The first house rules health and position of the person in society.  The second house rules wealth, family, birth of male child and status.  The third house deals with initiative and drive, valor, ability to communicate, new ventures, courage and younger siblings.  The fourth house rules mother, mental capabilities and assets in life, domestic peace, education and parental happiness.  The fifth house deals with emotions, progeny, intelligence, gains from speculative investments and the fruits of our good actions pertaining to our previous lives.  The sixth house deals with conflicts, challenges, disputes, health, and financial position.  The planet ruling the sixth house signifies haste, lack of patience and aggressive attitude.  The seventh house deals with partners in life including spouse and long term living relationships along with residing in foreign lands.  The eighth house rules physical relationships and their intensity besides ruling gains from inheritance, and obstructions.  The planet ruling the eighth house rules inheritance, easy gains and lust.  The ninth house deals with relationships with father, guru (preceptor) and religious institutions.  The tenth house rules relationships with colleagues, employer and customers.  The eleventh house rules relations with friends and elder siblings besides ruling income and gains in life.  The twelfth house rules relationship with the spouse.  The planet ruling the twelfth house rules lust for physical relationships, and obstructions.

Now, the study of relationships is very interesting in view of the foregoing groupings.  If the planet which rules the first group or house is placed in the fifth house which rules emotions or the planets ruling the first group or the fifth group are related, then the person is very emotional and develops deep emotional relationships for support in life.  If the planet ruling the third group is connected to the fifth group, even though the person gets involved emotionally the relationship may or may not result in a marriage.  If the planet ruling the third group is connected with the planet ruling the seventh group, the person takes the initiative for entering into a marital relationship.  The influence of the planet ruling the eleventh group on the seventh group means a number of romantic friendships.  The person has a fancy for romance and pleasurable company.

The influence of the planet ruling the sixth group on the planets ruling the house of family, domestic peace, partners, physical pleasures and the long term relationship with one’s spouse, creates conflicts in intimate relationships.  The influence of the planet ruling the sixth group on the fourth house or the ninth house develops conflicts with parents.  The influence of the planet ruling the sixth group on the third or eleventh house develops conflicts with siblings.  The placement of the planet ruling a particular relation in the sixth group or house will pave the way for conflicts with that particular relation.  Say for example if the planet ruling the eleventh house is placed in the sixth house then the person will develop conflicts with elder siblings and friends.

The placement of the lord of any house of the birth chart in the sixth house can bring in the incidence of conflicts in life pertaining to relationship matters. The placement of the lords of the first, second, third, fifth and tenth houses in the sixth house makes the personality of the person irritable.

Now for managing the harmonious relationships we go through the placement of planets and their relationships in the chart.  The relationships amongst/between planets are generated through

(1) their being in close state which is known as planetary conjunction or

(2) the planets interacting between/amongst themselves, the state which is known as planetary aspects and

(3) the placement of a planet ruling a particular group in another group.

When we identify the planetary influences working on the various relationships, we develop an understanding of the influences and then try to manage these as parents for our children, as adults with other members of the society and in our own intimate relationships.  For managing the problems anticipated in the lives of our children we have to spend more time with them in order to make them understand relationships and the role of conflicts, patience and aggressiveness in long-term relations.  The children are better developed through logic and reasoning rather than force and succumbing to their inflexible attitudes.  While these are non-astrological guidelines parents can make their lives comparatively smoother through astrological remedies so that they can give the time and attention needed by their children.  Similarly, if the adults recognize that they have influences of planets, which govern lack of patience and conflicts, they should learn to exercise patience and develop a checklist for their responses to various life problems.

The different planets at different timings in life have their turn for blessing the results as per their own strength in the horoscope.  This turn of the planets in astrological terminology is known as the planetary period.

The planets ruling obstructions in a chart when exercising influences on the planets signifying relationships create separations and give anxiety.  The undesirable planetary influences can be controlled by counseling, charities for the concerned functional malefic planets and strengthening of the functional benefic planets, which are unfavorably influenced.  This way one can manage relationships in life.

The planets ruling lust and influencing other weak planets in the chart result in developing depression, addictions, excessive intoxication thus turning the natives into problem drinkers.  Vedic Astrology helps in solving these life problems through astrological remedial measures.  This is done through strengthening the weak favorable planets and doing charities for the unfavorable planets for reducing the afflicting role of these planets.